Summer 2011

Woeful to be writing this now, but there’s a couple things you maybe might like to know and/or see:
Coming Soon – Hamlet! I’ve been cast as “Laertes” in the Gamut Theatre’s upcoming production – performances in November 2011!

Do You Feel Like We Do?

Already Done – Blurred Knuckles!

I managed a second place finish in June..AND managed some smoking fingers!

So because THAT happened, I updated the Blurred Knuckles page…

…and since they finally put back the audio, here’s my lone youtube appearance from 2007 in Minneapolis:

Thanks for listening (and watching?),
Philip

Filed under: Air Guitar, MyNarrative, Shakespeare

The Idea as of 2008

I am at this moment again
The obligations I’ve laid before me
shall be done, and in between all those
I am at this moment again

IT stands again before me
What’s to be done?
Given what you’ve got
and given what you’re not
what’s to be done?

What could be done?
BAP! Too freaked
I can’t deal with that
Don’t make me find
what’s to be done
from
what could be done
you know how short I’ll come
but

maybe

[it’s gonna come out as it’s gonna come out]
[it might as well come out like this]

So – here’s the thing

The follow-up ideas to my first venture “Human, Being” broke mostly two ways – a new effort altogether (with a necessary twist), or wringing the first experience. I’ve thought mostly of the latter, carrying and crafting an idea of an interactive public forum to discuss our grandest, clearest ideas. It has not yet reached fruition, nor even come close…with one lone exception. And *that* manifested only as a 60-some second audition.

I’m writing now to lay that idea out.

Sort of. Best as I can, at least.
There’ll be a lot of “asides,” because I make a choice
that if I let it out freely enough what I’m hoping to come out
will come out

The sacrifice of that is maintaining a single train of thought
In some manner, for me, an ongoing effort…

Because the explanations
are convoluted and interwoven
I find myself, when idle,
considering the manner by which
they might be unraveled;
brought to greater simplicity.
[Yipes! A semicolon!]

The movement towards that simplicity,
and the ideas it ensues
do, indeed, as I began saying

Bring me to this moment again.

For, given what I believe I understand
(we must ever qualify, no?)
And given all I do NOT know…

And given the state of things
*Especially* here in The United States
And all of us here above the curve…

…there’s something to be done.

I believe first, quite easily & steadfastly, that there is very little I would say
(in the vastness of what’s “to be done”)
that would surprise or be considered *new* information…

It’s not about the knowing
It’s about the doing

I mean, let’s face it…let’s face it ALL…

As individuals, the consideration of facing up to your greatest fears and greatest beliefs and conducting your life in an entirely different manner & fashion – and making a level of sacrifice that would, idealistically, remove any personal agenda; acting solely and exclusively for others every waking moment of every day – is not only made, but acknowledged to be within the realm of possibility. And, in fact, is acknowledged within the individual to be, in one consideration, remarkably simple to achieve.

Hey, no pressure…
Doesn’t mean it ain’t true
And man oh man, things could start to be
really really neat
if more of us tried to move more towards
more of that

Remarkably simple to do, in one consideration…
[More remarkably simple to say, barks my humility]

As individuals, we can see that. And we spend more than a fair amount of our time working contrary to that idea, focusing on everyone that’s not everyone else. And we see that, too. And we do it. And we know it. And we carry that. Each of us. All of us. Somehow.

The greater the change required
The greater the fear

And the release of the self
Leaves, given your sole, lone perspective
No one on your side

[Oh, do I hope your heart just shouted, “WHAT ABOUT LOVE?”]
[Good going, heart…]

——SO….
All that to say

The thing to be done is to have that conversation
Have that discussion
With as many people as you can gather at any one time
And talk about that

Not like religion
Like people
And NOT have the answers
But always move the questions forward
With earnest resolve to translate
New thoughts to new actions

It can be faced and considered
And the fear removed
When faced among many

And the conversations are to be had
And the discussions – live, focused
Brought to bring eye contact and interaction
BACK to the primacy it must hold
If we’re to see what we’re doing to each other
[the “other’ in that context being everything on the planet]
And how our actions must change

It’s remarkably simple
In one consideration

As there is fear, there is want
And WANT will always, Always, ALWAYS…win.
Once it wants it will move to get
WANT drives action.

This conversation would, in its first hobbling steps, have its challenges in facilitation. But among the denizens of humans humming around, there are those better suited and equipped to achieve that level of facilitation…

And I suggest *those* people would possess a heightened comparative level of empathy, and the deftness to have it continually employed in communication.

It falls to the players
Mayhaps because the adoption of so many other perspectives
lessens the one, drawing it away from self;
there’s a chicken-egg thing there that eludes me.

It falls to the players
For their grander expanded open sensibilities
Gives them constant love and joy
For the gift of existence amidst all this glory & grandeur
As the eyes open inside and out
The beauty of everything reveals itself
And there is the known joy
That, could you always take action
To give to that beauty at all times
There could be no more wondrous way to spend
The precious moment you’re given
From start to finish…

Remarkably simple to achieve
In one consideration…
By each one of us…
When we each feel safe enough
To know we can let go
And everyone else
Will, without pause
And with love
Lift, love,
Employ
Accept
Apply
Celebrate…

…then we will.
Once we each want to do that, we will.
[We can all nod that it IS that simple, right?]
{THAT’S the consideration – once it is wanted.]

And it is within each, all, every one of us to, if not achieve, move towards achievement.

BUT…it is change.
And change is frightening
And the release of self is frightening
Unless…you are not alone.
[to some extent, “duh,” right?]
When aided, it is always easier
When aided, there is always more resolve
When aided, you can exert greater influence over what you want
And would steer it in a different direction
Than were you alone

And we must each move to aid
[which is also what we’re kind of trying to say]
And we can each aid in our own way
And the players can play
OR
The players can play and aid and aid and play
Otherwise it’s just wearing a gorilla suit
If you, the player, just want to distract…
Get in line, and best of luck
If you, the player, play for yourself
Thanks for your time

The intent is not to eliminate the play
But augment life beyond entertain
To reduce the barrier of implication and inference
That art SO wants to enlarge
Story as metaphor, yes

But the encouragement and practice of
ongoing human interaction and communication
ofbyfor the people
for it is being lost
and the choices we as individuals make
away from others and for ourselves
draw us away from love
and will remove us from here
and we’re better than that

For all this WANTING, there is always, ever, *choice*
So, given, choice…we can therefore achieve.

So we must aid, the players
And converse and engage
And show how love and eye contact
And connecting with that which is NOT virtual
And discussing amidst, among, all that needs to be said
With each of us in earshot and eyeshot with many others
Saying the same things and facing the same fears

To create change
Through love

Check photo albums for more info on “Human, Being.”

Filed under: Commentary

this conscious dream

I found one of those things
they use to wrap big thick cable
the kind you can turn on its side
and turn into a coffee table

I put it on an axle
and I add ball bearings
a lot
and I add two handles on its side
so I can crank it and get it moving fast
on the axle and the ball bearings will
prevent its velocity from dropping

And I stand the axle up
to it can turn horizontally

And I take a piece of rope
and I affix one end of the rope
to the middle of the wooden thing
and to the other end of the rope
I tie the handle of a machete
that I found

I affix one end of many ropes
to the middle of the wooden thing
that spins horizontally on the axis
on which I placed it
and on the other end
of each of the ropes I tie
the handles of all the machetes
axes knives stillettos swords
all the blades I’ve found
all the thin sharp metal which
when moving cleaves between atoms
and makes separate that which was
previously together
Anbd I hone each blade
slowly purposefully into minutae
to minimize the chance that the blades
might fail when they strike that which they strike.

I sit underneath my creation
grasping the handles I exert force
and thus begin the creation spinning
fast fast fast
and the blades slice the air
practicing for greater challenges
the sound waves they create filling the space
the silver of the sharp metal
filling the space

I move out from underneath
and stand adjacent, watching, considering
I lift my arms high
I look upward
I smile
I move in

Thanks for listening.

Philip

Filed under: Abstract

today

I never heard the hurricane, Anne
I’m not small enough to be that close
to the butterfly so as to have the cacaphony
envelope my existence
I grow    smaller
with no ears or brain
but I float next to the molecules
that look and act just like me
I act and look just like them
and we know nothing we drift
the butterfly wings move
and we are buffeted and thrown
asunder from what order
we were able to attain through
no direct action of our own
it is the sound that changes us but
it is not heard it is only that which
changes our floating from one location to the next

and the joy of being just a blip of air
recedes
as every thought that is ungrounded will
and WHAT NEXT places itself before me
before us each all
again
gotta eat

Unless he doesn’t
and is it really a sick thing to
see how one doesn’t have to eat
or play or take or even grow

- he could simply be for the time he is
and then it is over, and the next thing is there

The next thing is always there
whether you eat or no or play or no
how many failures how many zeros
for one person to rise and not rising
they lift us for they do not rise we raise them

I can’t find the way to warm right now
it’s very cold, it’s very alone
I drift seeking oxygen with my duality
drifting I do not seek for I do not know that I am
and thus craft no agenda and no not know I seek
I come from starstuff as do we all
the simplest thing to make though I dare not
exist alone so there is that which is me
next to me combined with me
and hey dig that nucleus
so maybe we could cut a deal and
we’ll share some electrons.

I’m getting colder
that huge nucleus that looked so inviting
hangs like an anchor
and I don’t know why I was so interested
in those electrons in the first place
but here I am and I/we fall from grace
of the floating sky down somewhere
a roof, some concrete, or the ocean
it’s more likely then who would notice
me then?

Thanks for listening.

Philip

Filed under: Abstract

Sag-Cap Long Term Influences

The site that provided the synopses below:  astro.com

And if there’s anything TO all this
- and I’m of the mind of Dr. Kary Mullis
- who believes there’s enough evidence to suggest
- that there is

…then I’d imagine that these would speak
to more than just me.  They would speak to anyone
born near the time I was born

If you believe yourself to be
or know someone who believes themselves to be
A Saggitarius-Capricorn cusp

Then….read the synopses below.

It would seem I have….
…so far, and feebly, but
if you know me these days
and read below, you’d have a sense
of how all that’s hitting me.

Thanks for listening.

Philip

Horoscope of 3/23-24/11
born on 24 December 1961

Transit selected:  Pluto Conjunction Mercury
Activity period from middle of January 2011 until middle of November 2012
Secret investigations
Valid during many months: In many respects this will be an educational time in your life. Your ideas and opinions on many issues may change radically from what they have been in the past. Or you may become involved in persuading others to adopt your views. In either case, all thought, communication and exchange with others will take on great significance and intensity. Your concern for the truth is deepened during this time. You want to get to the bottom of any issue that concerns you, letting nothing stand in your way. Obviously this is a good time for any kind of research or investigation, particularly if you are investigating something hidden or secret. Your perception is sharpened so that you can see the facts more clearly and take advantage of your knowledge. Once you have thoroughly researched your position on any matter, you can tell others what you have learned. As mentioned above, this influence gives you the power to persuade people and sway them to your point of view. However, if you try to convince people from a narrow egotistical position, not because of a real concern with truth, you will provoke opposition to your ideas, which could defeat you. Even if you do not try to coerce others with your ideas, others may try to do so with you. Again you have to recognize whether their motives are egotistical or whether they really want to help you learn. Listen to those who want to help you, because they can show you much. The former type will force you to reexamine your own thinking and see where it is weak, but do not automatically surrender to someone else’s ideas. Merely question your own. At its best, this influence can bring you tremendous new understanding about life, if you are flexible enough to learn at all times, even when you are the teacher. Flexibility is very important, because the greatest danger of this influence is that without it you can be victimized by an obsession or fanatical ideal. Then you will only find yourself in furious struggles with others who regard you as a threat that must be curbed.

Transit selected:  Neptune Sextile Mars
Activity period from end of May 2010 until middle of December 2012
In the same boat
Valid during many months: At this time success and getting your own way will not seem so important to you. You are much more concerned with whether your life serves igher goals and principles than with your own needs. It is very important to you that your own individuality be expressed as part of the larger scheme. Consequently you are likely to work with others toward shared spiritual or metaphysical goals, and you may actively participate in a religious or spiritual movement. But you will probably stay out of the limelight for the most part, because you are in a rather retiring mood. It is as if the effort of pushing yourself into the forefront would disturb your attempt to find peace, which is more important to you now. This is a time for reflection rather than vigorous action. As you succeed in quieting the demands of your ego, you will discover the smaller, quieter voices that exist within us all. You may discover that the furious activity that has dominated your life hasn’t really meant much to you, that you did it for others in order to feel better about yourself. You may discover a psychic side to your consciousness that you haven’t noticed before because you have been so busy rushing around. One of the more benevolent effects of this influence is that it gives you empathy for others and the ability to intuitively understand their positions. Now you realize that you have been where they are, and you know from first-hand experience the tricks that people play on themselves and the foolish mistakes they make. So along with your increased understanding of spiritual truth comes the ability to understand others and to accept their shortcomings. You know that you are in the same place they are.

Transit selected for today: Neptune Opposition Uranus,,
Activity period from 16 March 2011 until middle of January 2013
Out of your mind
Valid during many months: This influence represents an enormous revolution in your consciousness, as you are exposed to aspects of life that you never dreamed possible. These might include any of the following: the occult or metaphysics; astrology; magic; altered states of consciousness, perhaps through drugs or meditation; or groups whose ideas are extremely idealistic and radical. What is actually happening is that tremendous new understandings are asserting themselves in your life with such force that they seem to upset all your past ways of thinking. However, this is only a problem of perspective. At this time you are in the middle of these changes and cannot see the relationship between your new consciousness and your old. But they are related, which you will come to understand as the immediate impact of this influence begins to pass. This is a period of tremendous psychological insights and change, but not much stability. Therefore keep your situation fluid enough that you can make changes as necessary. Do not try to build permanent structures at this time, because you will have to change them again and again. It should be noted, however, that the primary effects of this influence occur at the psychological level. Possibly you will respond to this influence with confusion, doubt and uncertainty. Let it be, and wait for the situation to settle down. Try to minimize the elements of your life that require you to make long-range commitments, because your changing consciousness will make it difficult to continue such a commitment. If old goals lose their meaning, that is what must be. Be patient, and new goals will enter your life that will better fit your new state of mind. Others may think you have gone out of your mind because of what you do and see at this time, but do not be concerned. This revolution in ideas and consciousness is a fundamental part of your life, and it must be allowed to pursue its own course.

Transit selected:  Chiron Conjunction Chiron
Activity period from beginning of March 2011 until beginning of February 2012
Starting a new life
Valid during many months: Profound changes during this very important time could have far reaching consequences for the coming years. One way or another, you will have to deal with the issue of your own mortality. You will often be painfully reminded of your own physical limitations, which will make you increasingly aware of the transitory nature of an individual life. The recognition of having passed our physical peak confronts us with issues concerning the end of life. Avoiding or suppressing this issue during this influence could lead to injuries and defeats. Strong reluctance can cause depression and a deep sense of the meaninglesness of life. This influence confronts you with the necessity of accepting your own weakness and mortality. If you try to struggle against this inevitable fact you will suffer and are doomed to fail, perhaps with devastating consequences for your self-confidence. You may now need to make a conscious effort to look after yourself. Give yourself the chance to withdraw, so that you can devote yourself to deeper issues. Any course of therapy you now start or a newly begun religious or spiritual path could open up perspectives which could lead to a genuine rebirth. Don’t be afraid to go down new paths or to ask for help. If you can find genuine answers as to how you should proceed in the future your life will be filled with a higher purpose.

Filed under: Commentary

site update

There’s much cleaning, organizing, and grouping of all these words that have to-date come out of me as they appear here.  Getting all this accomplished will be a work in progress.  In the meantime, there’s a couple things I’ve done:

• I have added three poems from previous writings/posts onto my Poetry & More page:
  - By Force (07/09)
  - turned on (11/09)
  - triumph (04/10)
• I’ve moved my ‘excerpt’ post to a page all its own

Questions or comments let me know.

Thanks for listening.

Philip

Filed under: About This Site

The Next Chapter

I stand here in preface
and offer to you words
by Portia Nelson which
I first read many years ago

Now, standing and speaking
and planning in preface
of that which shall be willed forth,
they came to my mind…

…and they answer my question
of what to place here on this site
to speak of and in one more sense
make real
that which shall be willed forth.

1

I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost…..I am hopeless
It’s not my fault
It takes forever to find a way out.

2

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don’t see it
I fall in again
I can’t believe I am in the same place
But it isn’t my fault
It still takes a long time to get out.

3

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I still fall in……it’s a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out quickly.

4

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

5

I walk down another street.

Thanks for listening.

Philip

Filed under: Abstract