More 06-07 web content; compiled Jul 30 2007; dumped on this site Nov 30 2007
(Portions of this content include portions from the draft that became the script for the “Human, Being” one-man show performed in Sep 07)
We’re too pragmatic to hold an ideal as sacred to the point of worship. We can’t worship a concept, apparently – our pride won’t let us. But you want me to worship a God? I would worship a God – in whatever form it may come – who has the capacity to say unto us, “To each of you who have a faith, see in your God and your values that which is common to all others – to live in compassion, service, love, and want of good will for all others, none excluded.” If there were some mechanism that would get all these folks and their different beliefs to turn to the same page – and it seems to me that the aforementioned same page does exist amongst them all – which is not to say they aren’t kinks to work out, especially the “none excluded” part. I’m no theologist, but only humankind can conceive a God that offers universal, unconditional love to everyone…except those people over here because, well, I don’t know, make something up
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Each day is a river you cross, leaping from stone to stone with the other people that come into your life. I am here as a stone other people can use to leap through their day. Each stone shows only a portion of itself to you, but you know there’s more to that stone than the portion you’re upon at that moment…and as you step upon their acknowledgement of your existence and you have expectations of treatment, etc., recall that the other person approaches you from the same perspective and has the same expectations, and only by appearing before each other as peers can we each offer that to each other. They land upon you, leaping through their lives, and you know the depth of your existence, your depth of life, and you know that the little corner of yourself they flit upon is not representative of you as a whole, although it IS a true component of yourself…that YOU choose how much more to reveal to any other person at any time. And if you can hold proudly onto that, as you should, the kicker to it is that you have to allow every other person to hold just as proudly to theirs, acknowledging their inalienable right to their pursuit.
How should you treat me? You should value me because I exist, and I’m trying to make it in this world and be happy. That’s all. Notice how I didn’t mention anything about treating me as you would have me treat you. The “Golden Rule” sets up a standard by which I’m to determine how to treat you based on how I wish you to treat me. But what if how I wish to be treated WEREN’T a standard for determining how I should treat you? Maybe I should treat you with respect and deference worthy a peer, a compatriot, a brother or sister in the general sense of those terms. You exist, therefore you are worthy of that. You may not give a flying fuck how I regard or treat you, and thus care little how you treat me. Once you include that measure, that defining node of commonality. I mean, maybe it was offered up simply as a point of reference…more of a guideline. Uncertain how to treat someone? Well, how about for starters, why not take a look at how YOU’D like to be treated? OK, not bad…but it gets twisted. It’s this whole “advanced brain” thing getting in our way again. Now that we “think therefore we are” it gives us acknowledgement of self, and man has taken it one step further, to “greater worth than others” or “holier than thou” because I can say I’m Harry and I can kill you.
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I’ve read quite a few books that try to inspire hope and offer uplifting messages…books by the Dalai Lama, other religious leaders, books on moral philosophy, books on “self-improvement,” etc., and their existence – the mere fact that they’ve been written, published and ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE AT FINE BOOKSTORES EVERYWHERE – suggests to me that hope does, in fact, spring eternal. There are people out there who have a fervent belief that “we can make it if we try” and are compelled to express that notion. Some that publish those books may do so because they wish to get that message out to their audience, and I’ll give you that other publishers may acknowledge the degree of fear, pain, and sorrow that exist in the world and figure books on self-improvement are simply reaching that large market that exists because so many of us feel inadequate and have significant self-esteem issues. But capitalizing on all that notwithstanding, all that stuff’s out there precisely because we all want to have hope, we all want to try and be better people for ourselves and those around us. I mean, there’s no “DESPAIR” section at Barnes & Noble, right? No titles like, “We’re Shit Out of Luck,” “Forget Trying,” “101 Ways to Upset Your Family” is there? “Tonight at Borders, Craig Williams will be reading excerpts from his new book, ‘I Suck at Life, and So Do You.’” I mean, maybe somewhere out there are people actually writing books like that, but you’ll never see them, ya know? Because we want hope, we want to believe there’s a possibility of something greater, more positive, more uplifting for ourselves and our society.
It is that which lies underneath my motivation to be here, to try and offer up my own message of hope. I’ve been trying most of my life – at least the part where I was responsible for my own actions and livelihood – to find that which inspires and drives me to action. My results? Crap. Fear, loathing, self-doubt…”Why am I in this condition?” I ask myself, which I’m sure is just my own personal variation on a theme – I have to believe that different versions of these same thoughts permeate and plague most everyone. “Why am I like this? Why do I do that? What can I DO about it?” I read the journals from my time as “Human, Being” and they’re chock full of internal ramblings and self-questioning. There’s a lot of suicide ideation – the safety and freedom of shaking loose this mortal coil. Pure escapism – nothing more than the wish to be rid of all the self-doubt, all the need to act and be responsible and take care of your life and be there for your family and friends.
I believe it reasonable to say that one should be able to find reasons to live for themselves, reasons to CARPE DEIM that are internally motivated. Otherwise, you’re left with staying alive to prevent your family & friends from feeling the pain and sorrow of your loss. So if you can’t find a reason to live for yourself, you stay alive for those around you…or for the simple reason that you’re too chicken to take yourself out. Maybe it’s not even being chicken, it’s the survival instinct that keeps you from doing that stuff. I mean, it sounds grand and seems like a thing that could rid you of all your problems, but doesn’t leave you many options in case it was a bad call. In fact, you’d never know it was a bad call. You’d know nothing. Ever. Again.
YOU’RE NOT HERE FOR YOURSELF, YOU’RE HERE FOR EVERYONE ELSE
You don’t exist. What you want doesn’t matter.
Wait, wait – let’s be clear about this. I know you think you matter and everything…..
I’m just here to tell you – you don’t. And neither do I. And that’s okay.
I grant you that, from your perspective, it may well sound quite pompous for me to wish aloud that the philosophy books I read could tell me something I don’t already know. But it all makes sense, it lays itself before me clear as day…
…and I intimidate those around me for the truth and the reality to which I am aware, and that the motivations behind everyone’s words and actions reveal themselves to me clearly, easily.
The rest of this is for Day Two.
One Perspective 